Dear Snow

Dear Snow

REPOSTED FROM: March 5, 2010.

Dear snow,

I’m not exactly sure how to say this without possibly hurting your feelings, but I’m just going to have to say it, because you’ve gone and over stepped your boundaries. Get the fuck outta here. When I invited you to come around and hang out back in November, I knew it was gonna be months and months of cold, wind, cold wind, slushy ice, loneliness, darkness, and an over all miserable vibe, full of darkness. I figured some snow here and there wouldn’t be so bad, it might even cheer me up, so to speak. Snow, you’re a lot like those over eager graffiti kids who don’t know when and where to start and stop tagging. When those kids show up at the over priced yuppie bars, They bring me cheer. I love the thought of the owner getting a call about a bunch of “ugly tags” all over the bathroom, but you guys show up at my house, when I’m having a party and don’t realize that me and my friends have the same exact artist, “fuck the world” kinda vibe, well, snow, you ruin the party, point blank. I suppose, snow, that you failed to notice, that when you left last week, and the sun peeked out a bit, and everyone had that first ice cream, and drank a coffee outside, right before walking through the park to look at the other bear like people who had just left their cave like dwellings for the first time in months. I guess you failed to notice that those people where happy. If you didn’t see that, you’ll never understand the next thing I’m gonna tell you snow, which is a shame. They where happy, snow, Because you where fuckin gone! You’re like that guy who shows up at a party, and no one cares about him right away, but by the end of the party, he’s gotten so obnoxiously drunk that he’s managed to chase off any cool girls that where there, and he never gets the vibe that he’s ruining the party, and even though he was kicked out, he manages to sneak back in, right in time to puke on the dance floor. Listen, snow, seriously, since you’re here now, stay for a few days, but come the fuck on, there’s no need for you to be here anymore. You’re pissing me off. That’s why I pissed on you tonight. TWICE! When you leave this time snow, don’t come back until next November or so, and I swear snow, I’ll forget this little incontinence happened. Shit, I’ll even welcome you with open arms, like I do every time I’m on a mountain with a piece of fiberglass strapped to my feet. But you never seem to want to come around much then, do you snow?

BECAUSE YOU’RE A FUCKIN DICK, SNOW!                                                                                                                                                      Fuck off.


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