I’m STUCK at the airport.

I’m STUCK at the airport.

Hey. You know what?

SHUT UP!

It can, and does happen to everyone.

I know it’s my fault, but still, it sucks.

I somehow read 13:50 on an email about my flight from Copenhagen to Stockholm, only to get to the airport and realize that I’ve had a minor dyslexic episode and the flights actually at 15:30, so now I’m here at the airport and hour and a half early for a flight that I’m actually three and half hours early for, so GUESS WHO GETS A BLOG POST?

GUESS? GUESS? GUESS? GO ON, GUESS?

Merry Christmas and praise the baby Jesus for free Internet in the Copenhagen Airport that’s not really free, because you have to give them an email address and a house address and you have to agree to the terms and agreements which basically says that they, or anyone they sell your information to can ring your door bell at any hour of the night and have sex with your girlfriend for free internet.

Tough deal, BUT, CUM ON!!!

FREE INTERNET!!!

 SO WHO HAD THE BEST EXPERIENCE FROM AN AUDIENCE MEMBER EVER TWO NIGHTS AGO IN MÄLMO SWEDEN?

WHO? WHO? GUESS? GO ON. GUESS?

Yes, it was me, and it was amazing, and the show was very nice and cozy with about 70 people in a nice dark back bar type of room, with a small stage and it was very comedy club like. Very cool. And I was warming up the crowd, and pulled out a cheapy, where I ask single people to make noise, then say,

“Gimmie a cheer if you’re a single woman…….who will sleep with anyone….”

And as usual, the crowd laughs as one over eager single woman cheers.

And I point, and laugh, and say, THERE SHE IS GUYS, GET HER!

And later in my set I make call backs and basically call the woman a whore, subtly, and everything is cool, and we’re all having fun, and I had a great set and then it was over and the people cleared out and the girl I was playing along with was sitting with a couple and they called me over to the table, so of course I went over. And the room was quiet and calm, and I sat down with this single brunette and the couple, who was, as I could see now a bit older than her, and the woman from the couple was like,

“Oh my God, you were so funny. I had so much fun, thank you.”

But all I really heard was,

“BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH”

Because I was wondering what the fuck was going on, because the couple was like ten years older than the single girl, and, I mean, I’m not judging anyone, but it just seemed like an awkward friendship, and even before I could really do all the math, the woman said,

“Something something something, our daughter, something something……”

And I was like,

“THIS IS YOUR DAUGHTER?”

And the woman said,

“Yeah.” Smiling. And I smiled, and laughed, and did the math, even though it didn’t REALLY add up, I just had to assume that this girls mom, was really young looking, and really really cool, or this girl was 10, or this girls mom had her when she was ten, or SOMETHING, because they looked pretty much the same age, kind of.

I laughed so hard.

“OH MY GOD” I said, “I called your daughter a WHORE.”

They all laughed a hearty laugh, even the dad. Then the girl spoke,

“Oh, yeah, they loved that.”

More laughter, ha ha ha, the mom leans in,

“I call her a whore all the time.”

Laugh, laugh, chuckle.

“We loved you. You’re so funny.”

And then the daughter, who, by the way, wasn’t 15 here, she was 22, got her revenge….

“My mom’s pretty cool for 57, huh.”

“HEEEEEEY, Shut up you whore.”

LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH……

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