A FUCKIN REVIEW?

Really?

You think I’m really gonna write a review for a stand up special that you can just buy yourself for 5 bucks? (Click the photo)

It’s five fucking dollars people. It’s cheaper than a cup of coffee.

This guy has been working at this shit for over 72 years and he’s been reduced to a price range that includes a one cent cup of coffee sold for 6.50.

If only Todd Barry could find a way to package his Crowd Work Tour special into some kind of eco friendly, recycled white paper cup with his corporate logo on it, I bet you guys would be lined up for it.

If only there was a way that Todd Barry could scream your name out in front of a room full of strangers, also waiting for the special, maybe you would jump at the chance to purchase it.

Review, my ass, which by the way is different than saying review my ass.

 Who reads reviews, anyway?

I’m only writing this review in the hopes that Todd Barry himself is as egomaniacal as I think he is and that his Google alert will buzz his watch every time I type the words TODD BARRY, forcing him to click on my blog, which in that split second, thrusts me into some kind of online audition to becoming the opening act when TODD BARRY brings his crowd work tour to Berlin, because as we all know, Berlin is like the new European mecca for stand up and the crowds would totally get a guy like TODD BARRY belting out his pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, sweet sarcastic salutation.

Oh, they would get it, because TODD BARRY does not back down to a hostile crowd.

TODD BARRY is up for a challenge.

Todd Barry says things like, “Alaska isn’t tough enough for me, I need a real challenge. Bring me………….. The toughest crowd on the planet.”

Bring him Berlin.

“What do you do sir?”

“Nothing.”

“OK, What about you sir?”

“Nothing.”

“Ok, what about you over there, what do you do?”

“Nothing.”

I’d love to see TODD BARRY in Berlin, wouldn’t you?

No? You’d rather drink cheap beer all day and piss on my front door while singing spanish songs loudly all night?

OK. Well, at least buy the guys special. Or don’t. Whatever, just wait two weeks when some dick posts the entire thing on youtube under the guise of it being great promotion for TODD BARRY, because we all know that giving away the entire product for free is the best marketing plan of all times which is why every movie trailer is always the full length feature film and also, I love how much the average person with out a job knows about marketing strategies.

Hey idiot dicks putting up people’s entire catalogs of work under the guise of great promo, you know you can get a job doing promotion and marketing and make a ton of money doing it?

I mean, if you’re gonna be a dick head, at least you can get paid for it.

THEN, you won’t have a problem shelling out the five clams for TODD BARRY’S special.

Thank you and good night, I’ll be here all week, every week.

PS. Dear Todd Barry, I’m so happy to see that you got to this part of the post. I have won. It feels amazing, thanks for asking. See you on the road, buddy.