Let the party begin. KARMA IS BULLSHIT!

And here’s how I know.

I RECENTLY GOT MARRIED AND…….

….days before the wedding, no one showed up at my house demanding I have a bachelor party, before renting out the top of a bar and forcing me to booze my face off and let a random stripper grind on my lap even though I don’t have an interest in any of those things, which is exactly what I did to a guy name Eric *Rusher in 2000.

….No one cuffed a cup to my hand, demanding I drink anything they put in it, until I was so drunk I could hardly remember whether they also made me do drugs, or made me lie down while gross strippers rubbed up on my chest and got their gross private parts WAAAAAAAAAAAY to close to my face, like I made my best friend *Nohan go through in 2006.

…..No one got so drunk at my wedding they fell off a roof while playing with kids, like I did in 1999.

…..No one ran around my wedding party with devil ears on, groping every woman in sight and drinking so much booze they succeeded in sleeping with someone who just so happened to be engaged, like I did in 2003.

…..No one got so drunk they puked outside, like I did at my mom’s best friend’s wedding when I was 12.

….No one got in a drunkin fight like I think me and a bunch of my cousins did at my drunkin cousins wedding.

….No one was so drunk they started calling me by my hippie name while the entire wedding party was like, who the fuck is this best man, and why doesn’t he know Sean’s real name, like I did at my boy Merton’s wedding in front of like 70 people.

…..No ex boyfriends of my wife to be showed up.

…..No ex girlfriends of mine.

…..No pissed off friends.

….No drama.

And on top of that, after all the horrible ways I’ve acted to women, I happened to meet a really beautiful, mellow, cool, accepting woman.

NO FUCKIN WAY KARMA IS REAL.