The Stand up comedian Ari Shaffir has a new stand up show.
I decided to talk about it, because it’s 2013, and if you’re not putting your opinion on the Internet, you’re not doin it right.
If you never heard of Ari Shaffir it doesn’t surprise me.
Often times, when I’m talking to people I’m not so into talking to, one of the opportunities they try to take advantage of is my knowledge of stand up comics.
OK, you’re right, I’m no expert, but I guess compared to most of the people I live around, out here in bum fuck Berlin Germany, well, lets just say that comedy isn’t a special on the daily menu out here in Germany.
So yeah, people often ask me,
“What comedians are good these days? Who do you like?”
To which I reply,
“Fuck you. What am I, a fuckin information generator? Am I Google? Do your own homework buddy, it ain’t 1986 anymore pal, your little threats of wedgies don’t scare me at all. Why not just look on Rolling Stones list of 50 funny people. HUH?”
By the way, Ari isn’t on Rolling Stones list of 50 funny people, because that list might as well have been called 50 people associated with companies who pay us list, plus a few extra high profile twitter people, because we’re Rolling Stone and we have no fucking clue whats really going on in the stand up comedy scene where people have to REALLY be funny night in and night out, and by the way, Rolling Stone didn’t even have Bill Burr on their stupid ass list, so go fuck yourself Rolling Stone, drink about 500 Red Bulls and fucking die already.
Oh shit, sorry, I’m supposed to be talking about Ari Shaffir’s comedy show and I end up ranting about some stupid corporate list that in the end means nothing.
It hurts sometimes though, because guys like Ari Shaffir are on front line of comedy, takin it in the face when shit hits the fan and then guys like Charles Barkley make some list that could actually help a guy like Ari out.
Seriously Rolling Stone, suck dick.
Oh fuck, I did it again.
Well shit, why the fuck would you even care what I say about it? I’m obviously a fan of Ari’s and now my review of it might be tainted by my “fanness,” so what I think you should do, is just go to the fuckin site, pay the 5 dollars and watch it your damn self.
It’s 2013 for Christ’s sake, make up your own damn mind, but if you like to watch a jew with a mic complain about shit in a New York theater with a blue curtain in the background, you will love this shit.
And it’s five US dollars.
Jesus. I feel horrible for this guy. He works for a fuckin YEAR, traveling, lonely, struggling, just to get an hour together, tape it, produce it, and all that, just to hear some fuck like you say,
“But, is it worth five?”
WHAT THE FUCK?
A fuckin coffee is five dollars these days. What the fuck are we coming to? Where are we as a society?
And I live in Europe, so it’s really two Euros, and you know what, I just went by that bullshit American donut chain and a dozen donuts is TEN FUCKIN EUROS.
That’s right, 12 little dough rolls, in a shitty cardboard box, made in seconds by some retarded idiot who can barely speak a coherent sentence is worth three times the money as Ari Shaffir’s stand up comedy special.
So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, be a rational being and BUY ARI SHAFFIR’S STAND UP COMEDY SPECIAL!
Fuck it, buy it twice.